So, two high school football players are going to spend some time in a juvenile detention facility for messing around with a drunk girl.  Maybe you’ve seen the stories and think, “Holy shit!  Could that be me?”

The answer is, it is completely easy for that to never be you.  You can make sure you never end up in Trent Mays’ position in three easy steps.  But first, there are some things you should know.

High school is still a place where, if folks know not everyone is straight, the social world revolves around the assumption that folks are straight (when I’m writing for a different audience I use the term “heteronormative.”) It’s also, like almost everywhere, cisnormative: folks assume that everybody is and wants to stay the gender they were assigned at birth and that everyone’s okay with binary gender.  Some folks are not.  In most high schools there are…

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Steubenville’s Many Tragedies

(Partially in response to: On Rape, Cages, and the Steubenville Verdict)

I think, in a way, Mia McKenzie, is saying similar things as to what the CNN reporters were saying. She is, without a doubt, saying it much more eloquently, though that may be in part the luxury of a well thought out and executed blog post vs. a quickly produced breaking news video segment.

Trent Mays, 17, and Ma'lik Richmond, 16, both football players, were convicted of digitally penetrating the West Virginia girl, and Mays was also found guilty of illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material. The boys will serve their sentence at a juvenile detention facility until they turn 21.
Trent Mays, 17, and Ma’lik Richmond, 16, both football players, were convicted of digitally penetrating the West Virginia girl, and Mays was also found guilty of illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material. The boys will serve their sentence at a juvenile detention facility until they turn 21.

What happened to that girl is disgusting and despicable and those responsible should pay. However, it is a disgrace that there was a moment in their lives when they thought violating an incapacitated girl was okay and it’s a shame that they were raised in a society that taught them that. I think what people, though misguided, were trying to say was that Trent Mays and ​Ma’Lik Richmond were not Dylan Harris and Eric Klebold. They were not loners or weirdos, ostracized by their peers. By all accounts they were not ticking time bombs waiting to explode.  They were smart, popular, seemingly well adjusted athletes. Not “bad kids.” And now, kids, whose lives were presumably on the right track, have been derailed.

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A horrifying Bar Experience

New Yorkers! Do NOT under any circumstances go to the bar Niagara (corner of 7th and Avenue A) Ever.
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I used to like Niagara. I almost had my birthday party there this past year. Last night, though, everything changed. I went with some girlfriends around midnight. While they stood outside smoking and chatting I went inside to use the bathroom. At first I didn’t notice the line, oops, my bad. This apparently enraged the bouncer who pushed me down a small flight of stairs. When I stood up, he pushed me again. I stood again an he pushed me for a third time. Until, terrified and in shock I was able to leave the bar.
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