This piece originally appeared at The Radical Notion (Aug 25, 2015). I am a semi-regular contributor to TRN, check it out on Facebook and Twitter for the latest. 

Congratulations ladies (and anyone who likes to have sex involving a vagina)! The FDA has approved a “female viagra” to enable you to get it on! Hooray!

Except, not quite. First let’s remove the misnomer from the drug, Flibanserin, dubbed Addyi by Sprout Pharmaceuticals, its manufacturer,  is absolutely not the same as Viagra, Cialis or any other ED drug out there. Those drugs are designed to aid men who are aroused and want to have sex but face physical limitations. Those drugs basically increase blood flow to the genitals, allowing the penis to get erect, enabling penetrative intercourse. The analogous to this for women, actually, is probably lube which has been around in some form or another for millennia. But Addyi does not increase lubrication in the vagina. It doesn’t focus on the physiological aspects at all. Instead it takes a woman who has little to no desire for sex and, essentially, gives her some.

Continue reading



This piece originally appeared at The Radical Notion (Aug 6, 2015) Starting this month, I am a regular contributor to TRN, check it out on Facebook and Twitter for the latest. 

Recently, The New York Times ran a story covering Bill Cosby and the deposition he gave in 2005. The deposition was part of his defense against a young woman, Andrea Constand, who was suing him on grounds he had drugged and molested her. Cosby’s language in the deposition (or at least the parts The Times chose to publish) makes him sound like a man who has thoroughly “othered” women. Based on his statements, it becomes clear that he views women not as fully developed people but as simplistic children (“Mr. Cosby said he tended to refrain from intercourse because he did not want women to fall in love with him.”) unsure of what they want, and it was his job to guide them in their lives and into his bed. The Times described him as a “cavalier playboy.”

Continue reading


Last weekend I went to an honest to god park. I overheard a woman say people aren’t being cynical enough. I ran into 4 people I know. It’s like cavemen being unearthed from the ice. Let’s face it people: Spring is Here.

And this is a good thing. Winter was fucking awful this year. Like, just terrible. Everyone’s Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D.) got cranked up to 11. Maudlin, morose, melancholy. These are all words I would use to describe every single fucking awful day of 2015 until last week when the skies parted and warmth rained down.

That first warm weekend took me by surprise and after making last minute plans for drinks I stood in front of my closet scanned my clothes and asked myself the eternal question: what do I wear? As miserable as winter had been at least then the answer to that question had been relatively easy. Wear as many layers as humanly possible. But that would not fly on this lovely 70 degree day.

I looked at a white cotton dress (versatile enough to get to stay in my closet all year, can easily be used in fall and milder parts of the winter) and felt the soft fabric between my finger tips. I took it out of the closet and held it against my body for inspection in front of the full length mirror. It was then that I realized I hadn’t shaved my legs, and wouldn’t have time before the drinking was meant to commence. So I asked myself the same question I always ask when winter turns to spring: Do I shave this year? Continue reading