DON’T BELIEVE THE HYPE: WHY “FEMALE VIAGRA” ISN’T ALL IT’S CRACKED UP TO BE

This piece originally appeared at The Radical Notion (Aug 25, 2015). I am a semi-regular contributor to TRN, check it out on Facebook and Twitter for the latest. 

Congratulations ladies (and anyone who likes to have sex involving a vagina)! The FDA has approved a “female viagra” to enable you to get it on! Hooray!


Except, not quite. First let’s remove the misnomer from the drug, Flibanserin, dubbed Addyi by Sprout Pharmaceuticals, its manufacturer,  is absolutely not the same as Viagra, Cialis or any other ED drug out there. Those drugs are designed to aid men who are aroused and want to have sex but face physical limitations. Those drugs basically increase blood flow to the genitals, allowing the penis to get erect, enabling penetrative intercourse. The analogous to this for women, actually, is probably lube which has been around in some form or another for millennia. But Addyi does not increase lubrication in the vagina. It doesn’t focus on the physiological aspects at all. Instead it takes a woman who has little to no desire for sex and, essentially, gives her some.

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BILL COSBY, CONSENT, AND THE BODY

This piece originally appeared at The Radical Notion (Aug 6, 2015) Starting this month, I am a regular contributor to TRN, check it out on Facebook and Twitter for the latest. 

Recently, The New York Times ran a story covering Bill Cosby and the deposition he gave in 2005. The deposition was part of his defense against a young woman, Andrea Constand, who was suing him on grounds he had drugged and molested her. Cosby’s language in the deposition (or at least the parts The Times chose to publish) makes him sound like a man who has thoroughly “othered” women. Based on his statements, it becomes clear that he views women not as fully developed people but as simplistic children (“Mr. Cosby said he tended to refrain from intercourse because he did not want women to fall in love with him.”) unsure of what they want, and it was his job to guide them in their lives and into his bed. The Times described him as a “cavalier playboy.”

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Trevor Noah, Ari Shaffir, Jamie Foxx and the cruelness of comedy

Recently, three male comedians have (again) come under fire for offensive tweets and jokes. Across the three of them, they’ve managed to hit almost every hot button issue: sexism, homophobia, transphobia, anti-Semitism, sizism, and ableism. If they’d crammed racism and Islamaphobia in there too I’d be downright impressed.
Naturally, for each of them, people swiftly came to their defense. Responses are the same tired horse shit you’ve heard before. “It was just a joke, don’t be so uptight!” “Are we the comedy police now?” “What happened to free speech?” “You wouldn’t be  saying that if [insert member of mocked and oppressed group here] had made the joke!”

All of these reactions are stupid and downright boring, much like the “jokes” themselves. If the jokes had actually been funny  or clever or even opportune, I might be more forgiving. But they weren’t. Not only is this bad behavior, it’s bad comedy.

Trevor Noah
Trevor Noah
Jamie Foxx
Jamie Foxx
Ari Shaffir
Ari Shaffir

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A Woman’s Body

If you aren’t a woman with larger-than-average breasts then you probably don’t understand the cleavage problem. Most of the clothing I wear shows my cleavage in one way or another whether I’m trying to be sexually provocative or not. Short of high collared shirts and dresses there’s a more than likely chance I’m exposing cleavage on any given day. Tops that look “sweet” or “cute” on smaller breasted women end up looking “slutty” on me.

Brittany Minder in her "revealing" prom dress

This has rarely bothers me (I’m proud of my breasts and I don’t give much thought to others’ opinions of them), save a few times when my laundry hamper was full and I was stuck between a tit and a hard place when trying to dress for work or family functions. This morning, however, I read about Brittany Minder,  a high school senior from Washington state who was made to cover up her breasts at her prom. She felt the magic was gone and left after only an hour.

Minder wore a purple sparkly strapless dress that, yes, showed her cleavage which violated the school’s dress code (which I also take issue with but more on that another time). However, a smaller chested girl in the exact same dress style would have been permitted in. Guess what, Minder is going to show cleavage virtually no matter what she wears. Continue reading

Steubenville’s Many Tragedies

(Partially in response to: On Rape, Cages, and the Steubenville Verdict)

I think, in a way, Mia McKenzie, is saying similar things as to what the CNN reporters were saying. She is, without a doubt, saying it much more eloquently, though that may be in part the luxury of a well thought out and executed blog post vs. a quickly produced breaking news video segment.

Trent Mays, 17, and Ma'lik Richmond, 16, both football players, were convicted of digitally penetrating the West Virginia girl, and Mays was also found guilty of illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material. The boys will serve their sentence at a juvenile detention facility until they turn 21.
Trent Mays, 17, and Ma’lik Richmond, 16, both football players, were convicted of digitally penetrating the West Virginia girl, and Mays was also found guilty of illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material. The boys will serve their sentence at a juvenile detention facility until they turn 21.

What happened to that girl is disgusting and despicable and those responsible should pay. However, it is a disgrace that there was a moment in their lives when they thought violating an incapacitated girl was okay and it’s a shame that they were raised in a society that taught them that. I think what people, though misguided, were trying to say was that Trent Mays and ​Ma’Lik Richmond were not Dylan Harris and Eric Klebold. They were not loners or weirdos, ostracized by their peers. By all accounts they were not ticking time bombs waiting to explode.  They were smart, popular, seemingly well adjusted athletes. Not “bad kids.” And now, kids, whose lives were presumably on the right track, have been derailed.

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A Loud, Lovable Lady

Peg Bundy, a loud beautiful lady.
Chelsea Fagan feels marginalized as a loud and proud lady. I point to Mrs. Bundy as our Queen.

This entry is in response to the article No One Will Love a Loud Girl by Chelsea Fagan posted today in Thought Catalog.

As a “Loud Girl,” myself I do not support this article. It is backwards and self pitying and doesn’t take into account that some people don’t like it when anyone is loud and aggressive no matter what’s going on (or not) between his or her legs. Some people are just plain offended by that sort of behavior. And that’s OK. It is true that there does exist people who will tolerate that behavior  from a man and not a woman but, frankly, that is mostly the territory of degenerate idiots.

The author either  ignores the possibility that some women are just like that independent of male society, or is unaware that it exists.  It appears to be the opinion of the author that all women are loud fiery hell cats on the inside and the evil men of our society are squashing us into sad, demure and frail little things. Furthermore, those same men are  punishing any who disobey by denying them the one thing that all women, strong or weak, truly want: love. The article is insulting to loud women,  quiet women, in between women and most men.

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